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Common Sense Parenting with Pam
"Common Sense Parenting with Pam" is a podcast dedicated to helping parents of children ages 2-12 navigate the joys and challenges of parenting with practical, no-nonsense advice.
Each week, Pam, a social media influencer, parenting mentor, mom of four, and grandmother of eight, draws from her expertise in common sense parenting to offer bite-sized, actionable tips on managing behaviors, building strong family bonds, and raising resilient, responsible kids.
Tune in every Tuesday at 8A for fresh insights and real-life strategies that will empower you to parent with confidence and calm.
Perfect for busy parents looking for effective solutions that actually work!
Common Sense Parenting with Pam
Three Discipline Mistakes That Sabotage Your Parenting (And How To Fix Them)
Struggling with discipline? You're not alone. Most parents fall into the same three traps without even realizing it - and today I'm pulling back the curtain on these common pitfalls that sabotage our best parenting efforts.
The first mistake might surprise you: talking too much during corrections. When your child is in a reactive state, all those carefully crafted explanations go in one ear and out the other. I'll share a simple formula that cuts through the noise and gets results without the power struggle. Think fewer words, more clarity, and significantly less frustration for everyone involved.
Then there's the consistency challenge. We've all been there - making threats we don't follow through on because we're tired, it's inconvenient, or we just want to avoid the meltdown. But this seemingly small slip creates massive problems down the road. I share practical strategies for maintaining boundaries even when it feels impossible, including what to do when one child's behavior threatens to ruin family outings for everyone.
Finally, we explore the fundamental misunderstanding of what discipline actually means. The word itself comes from "disciple" - to teach, not to punish. I'll show you how to transform correction moments into valuable teaching opportunities that build emotional intelligence rather than just compliance through fear.
This episode is short, practical, and packed with actionable advice you can implement today. None of us get it right every time (myself included!), but awareness is the first step toward more effective parenting. Try shifting just one of these patterns this week and watch how it transforms your relationship with your children.
Ready to raise emotionally intelligent children who understand boundaries without endless power struggles? Listen now, and don't forget to subscribe and leave a review if you found these tips helpful. Parenting is hard enough - let's make discipline the straightforward, effective tool it was meant to be.
Welcome to Common Sense Parenting with Pam, the podcast where we simplify parenting with common sense tips, real life scenarios and a little bit of humor along the way. I'm Pam and I'm here to help you build the skills and confidence you need to raise happy, resilient and responsible children. So grab your coffee and take a deep breath and let's talk about parenting with a common sense tip at a time. Welcome back to Common Sense Parenting with Pam. I'm so glad you're here today. Our episode is going to be short, sweet and a little eye-opening. We're talking about three discipline mistakes that most parents make and don't even realize it. Don't worry, this is not about judgment. It's about awareness growth and helping you feel more confident in those hard moments. So let's be honest, discipline is one of the hardest parts of parenting. You want to raise respectful, responsible children, but in the heat of the moment, it's easy to react instead of respond. Let's talk about mistake number one and I say this all the time on my reels and I sometimes get a lot of pushback on this. Mistake number one is talking too much when you're correcting behavior, and that's when I say on my reel stop talking, talking, talking at your children. So here we go. Yes, I understand that explaining and reasoning and repeating and negotiating. It's tempting to do all of that right. But the truth is, when your child is in a reactive state, especially during a meltdown or defiant moment, they are not processing what you're saying. They can't process that lecture, all those words coming out of your mouth at them. They go in one ear and out the other. You're wasting your time and your breath. So, for example, let's say your five-year-old refuses to put their toys away and you say we talked about this, remember what we said this morning? You're not listening and if you don't clean up, you can't play tomorrow. And I'm tired of repeating myself. Do you hear what I'm saying here? All of that Sound familiar? All right, here's what you can try instead State the rule, state the consequences and zip it. Calm and clear. Your toys need to be picked up now. If they're not, I'll put them away for the rest of the day. Period, that's it. End of discussion. Do you see the difference? Your child knows exactly what they need to do and what the consequence is. Now the important part is number two we're going to talk about is, then, not following through or inconsistent follow through. So this one is huge. I preach this all the time. To me it's just common sense. But a lot of parents let this drop because they're tired, they're overwhelmed, they're busy with other children, they've got a lot on their minds and they just let this drop. Big mistake If you say something is going to happen and then it doesn't, your child learns that your words don't mean anything.
Speaker 1:They don't carry weight. Discipline only works when the boundaries are real. So, for example, you say, if you hit your sister again, we're leaving the park. But your child does it again and you go. If you hit your sister again, we're leaving the park. So you've just repeated what you just said, but you didn't do it. And here's what you need to do you follow through the very first time. That consistency builds trust. Even if it's inconvenient, even if you get pushed back, we're leaving. Now you chose to hit, and that's not okay. Hard, yes, worth it, absolutely. Now, this is where I get parents going. But what if I just got to the park and we had these things all planned? Well, sorry, going. But what if I just got to the park and we had these things all planned? Well, sorry, it's going to be inconvenient for a while, but your child is going to learn if you follow through and stay consistent.
Speaker 1:One person said to me well, what happens if we're all out to eat and that child's misbehaving? And I say, if you don't stop, we're going to have to leave. And that child misbehaves Does everybody have to suffer because of it? You take everybody home. That's what you said you were going to do here. Here's what you can do. Then, when you get home, that child that misbehaved and disrupted the event for everybody, goes into their room, stays in their room. Your other children get a special treat, get a special favor, get something fun to do. Okay, your child is quickly going to learn. Oh, she wasn't kidding.
Speaker 1:Okay, mistake number three disciplining without teaching. And this is where I get into the real. I did the other day when I said timeout is really ineffective. You need to do more of what I call time in or just redirecting the child, having them to go to a chill space, a calm corner, just go sit on the couch for a minute, take a break. It's not punishment, it's not scolding them, it's not shaming them. It's just saying hey, I see you're having trouble following rules. Go chill for a while. Here's what I expect. And so you're telling them. You know you had trouble today. You threw a block at your sister's head. That's totally unacceptable. You need to go chill for a while so they understand what they did wrong. So, for example, your discipline without teaching looks something like this First of all, discipline means to teach, not to punish.
Speaker 1:If all you do is take something away or send them to the room but you never explain what to do, instead, they don't learn. They don't know, they don't learn the skill that they're missing, for example, you go that's it, that's it no TV tonight. I'm tired of telling you, but you don't talk about why the behavior happened or how to handle it next time. So here's a better approach Use these discipline moments to teach replacement behaviors. Tell them what you expect. So it would be something like this when you feel frustrated, instead of yelling, come get me, let's practice using words right now. That is how you raise emotionally intelligent children who learn self-control, not just fear the consequences.
Speaker 1:So today's episode is short and sweet. I just wanted you to know these three big A's, and we're going to wrap this up. So just to recap one don't over talk. Two be consistent. Three use discipline as a teaching tool. Now, none of us get it right every time, me included.
Speaker 1:I made a lot of mistakes raising my children, but I've learned from them. But awareness is powerful. If one of these stood out to you today, try shifting it this week. Even one small change can make a big difference. And remember you might not get it right the first time. You may have to practice this over and over and over until it just becomes natural for you.
Speaker 1:A lot of this for me is common sense. I've worked in early childhood for many years. I have children, I have grandchildren. This to me is like living, eating and breathing. I understand it's not the same for everybody. That's why I do these podcasts and my reels and my blog and everything else I do Facebook Lives to try to help you become a better and more effective behavior manager with your children. Thank you for tuning in to today's episode of Common Sense Parenting with Pam. I hope you enjoyed the episode and, if you did, please leave a review. That helps other parents find us. And if you have friends who also have children and could use some parenting tips, feel free to share this. I would really appreciate it and you know I'd love to hear from you. So you can always find me on my socials and until then, remember, hug and love your babies.